[tigersassy]

Starting to feel pretty good. I don't know if this is the onset of hypomania or if this is normal. I'm wondering if it could be from the increase of the viibryd. Got to see a Dr on Tuesday for a health issue, but it's not my pcp it's her assistant. It makes me nervous. Wish I had the energy and focus to do what I want to do. Going to sleep now and hope that I get a full nights sleep.

Tig

[Standup2me]

I have a cold and I am cranky

[Skitz13]

So far, a better day. Went for a 5K walk this morning, mood is so so but nothing serious

[Moreta]

I took the car I'm going to get on a test drive. Pretty fast car for a '94. We're going to go buy it on Tuesday.

[Skitz13]

So it's 5 and it's been a good day. Didn't do too much, mainly rested. It's been a hell of a week and a half with this mixed episode. I'm cautiously optimistic that this episode is over with. Never had one before so I don't know if good days are mixed in. I'd hate to wake up tomorrow back in hell but today I won't think about it and cherish my day of sanity

[Standup2me]

Bought plants for the garden
Got a new tree for the front lawn.

Today was okay

[Bolivar83]

already depressed - memory very bad, can't sleep (bad insomnia, nightmares), have disappointed family... feel like horrible, worthless person

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Bolivar83

already depressed - memory very bad, can't sleep (bad insomnia, nightmares), have disappointed family... feel like horrible, worthless person

Well, I can totally empathize with this, it's really difficult sometimes.
Hang in there, do something that relaxes you, whatever that is.
You are NOT worthless, but I feel that way too sometimes.

We are precious beings.

[Justbyou]

Feeling rejected and disappointed tonight. Which has triggered my depression and my urge to go out and use. This too shall pass though.

[Cocosurviving]

My day was chill. I went to a rodeo/parade with my dad and youngest daughter. The rodeo was a bit of a bust not a lot in the parade and it was very short. I did get to meet a few people on my dad's side of the family.

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[r010159]

Last couple of days I have been depressed but functional. Right now I am OK, but I have not accomplished anything. I just do not have the energy or attention span. Perhaps a little depressed still.

[tigersassy]

Crappy. I had a bad dream last night\this morning. I am not hungry. I've only eaten one meal today. Got about 7 hours of sleep. Going to get less than that tonight. Didn't get to do what I wanted to do today. Can't decide how I feel. Kindda feel like crying but not at the same time. Tomorrow night won't be taking the seroquel. I'll just be on 100mg lamictal, 40mg viibryd, 10mg of buspar 3x's a day, and my 20mg propranalol 2x's a day for my blood pressure. I'm really freaked out by the dream I had, but what can you do. Plus Tuesday I have to go to the Dr for a health issue that kindda resolved itself but still has me worried. I don't know what I feel.

Tig

[Notnrml85]

I decided that I'm not going to try to kill myself by overdosing on any kind of pills anymore. There's no point in doing it I just end up vomiting bile for the next 24-48hrs and there's still the same problems and I'm still alive and still in the same amount of pain, except I'm traumatized yet again from suicidal ideation since age 9
And my first overdose attempt was at 11. I wish it would have worked back then. Nobody even knew what was wrong with me. I stayed home from
School with a "stomach bug".
Why the hell didn't it work then? Why do I constantly have to be in some form of emotion/physical pain.

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[Sad&Bipolar]

Was in the hospital for 3 days and it was an awful stay. Now at home and still feel unsafe. Bad days for me.

[Standup2me]

Notnrml85, it did not work because the universe was telling you that it was not your time

That you had too much in life to accomplish.

That the world needs you

[TippPatt]

Originally Posted by Plzsti

Not doing well. Haven't been for 4 days now. My moods are all over the place, like really bad. I'm totally worn out. I can't keep up with the moods. This has never happened to me before. I feel like I'm out of control and somehow losing touch with reality at times. I'm so scared and feel really alone

There is every possibility that you're entering a depressive phase - like the one mentioned a few posts ago. They usually start with a terrible few days of not understanding where you are or why you are. At least that's the way it is for me when they start. As mentioned in that earlier post, they can last a long time, but some don't actually last that long. It's a crap shoot and based only on the particular chemistry of YOUR brain, so none of us can really say specifically what is going on with you.
I suggest a call to your doc and tell him. If he understands depressive phases and you've had one before, then let him know you're in that spot that I call the whirlwind. When it happens to me, the best I can do is simply stand there and watch everything going on around me. Being bipolar, I've found my best action when that happens is to warn those that I live with and keep my mouth shut. I'm one who will say EXACTLY what I think about events. More often than not, that isn't so wonderful for those around me.

Keep it cool - and call your doc. Some mellow enhancing drugs are called for, in my humble opinion.

[tigersassy]

Doing ok. Running all over the place at work. Wish it was 60 degrees I hate the über heat. Not really sure if I'm coming or going It's overwhelming. I really hope this isn't early hypomania. But who knows. Embrace the positivity right? Or should I mitigate the possible losses?

Tig

[Standup2me]

On the edge of tears
Cannot deal with the world
Want to live in a cabin up north and hide from everyone

[Moreta]

I hurt today. We sat out at the yard sale again today. Made some more money. It's going towards the car I'm buying tomorrow.

[Sad&Bipolar]

It's Monday, 5/26. I am in emotional crisis but don't want to go to the hospital, but I think it would be best if I did. So I guess I am not doing well - again. When will I ever feel like a real person? How much longer can I g on like this?

Well, today I drove to my hometown and went to church with my aunt, visited for a while and had lunch with her. Got home a little bit ago, watered the outdoor plants and did a load of laundry. Now this depressive phase is more obvious as I'm home alone while my husband is gone fishing. I hate the loneliness so much. Why can't I be alone without being so lonely??? I'm not normally like this when I'm not depressed. When will this episode ever end? I think I'm setting a world record for lonest depressive phase - - it's been almost 10 months now (it will be on 6/4)! Something has got to give. This is getting absolutely ridiculous . . .

[SingDanceRunLife]

Feeling particularly crappy today. I always say the same thing regardless of my mood state -- that it's the worst...how can it always be the worst?

[Hbomb0903]

I am listening to the rain and thinking of times when I didn't feel sick. I want to be more than my illness.

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[Capriciousness]

I'm just lying here feeling crazy. Why is my life so good and I am so blessed but I hate everything. My emotions are just so out if whack. It is as if I was a pregnant Bipolar person. Oh wait! I am!

[Curiosity77]

My day was good today. I'm feeling pretty stable right now. I want to do what i can to stay well.

I still have some unhealthy behaviors, but for whatever reason i'm not ready to change. It's like i'm watching myself make bad decisions, but i can't seem to do anything to stop it. None of it makes me happy, it's just i'm not ready to give up all my chaos and just be a responsible person. It's more just the way i'm relating to people right now. I seem to need a lot of external validation, when i want to be more self sufficient. I need to set some boundaries with a couple of people, and then stick to those boundaries even when i'm feeling lonely or self destructive. The attention i'm getting now isn't good for my self esteem. Sorry to be so vague. I'm just processing, and i don't know how to talk about this stuff, even to my therapist.

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