I have. It felt kind of wretched to talk about it. She looked kind of sad and surprised but was pretty supportive. It doesn't really feel better to have discussed it. But then I think that for me, this terrible neediness is pretty much the core issue, the pit of despair, well of loneliness, butthole of angst or what have you from which everything else stems. You know?

So probably talking about it guardedly on a few occasions while trying to be brave and not completely freak right out isn't going to cut it really. I'm going to really have to get into it with her and wade through the hideous and nasty feelings that go with it all while knowing that when I really need an extra session it's going to be extra triggering to ask for it and a huge slap in the face if I don't get it. Because it'll be further proof of the very repulsiveness that causes me to need the extra session.

It's like that zen koan: that which you are seeking is causing you to seek.

Or whatever.