Why can't I ask my T if has a cancellation can he fit me in?

I am having a bit of meltdown and yesterday text my T but he is booked out. All I want to do is say "Its a bit of a long shot, but if you have a cancellation can you fit me in." I already now how booked out he is, not too many people cancel, but I can be there in 10 mins.
I don't understand why I just can't do it. Any insight would be appreciated as i have none at the moment.

I don't know. I do this all the time (though it's his secretary who takes care of it). It isn't a big deal to her anyway. She's been known to call me just to let me know an opening has come up even when I didn't ask her to do so. Does it make you feel too needy? Think of it this way: if you were trying to get in to see any doctor or dentist or whatever and they were booked, would you hesitate to be asked to be placed on a waiting list to be called in case of an opening? It's a pretty common practice.

I've been thinking. Yes, maybe too needy, but also in the past when I have asked for emergency sessions he has made me feel like it wasn't important enough and could have waited til I see him at my regular time. Like maybe I am wasting his time he could spend with other people.

I have the same problem, my t books me 3 appts ahead of time, but due to this holiday, i wont see her next week, but im scheduled 3 next appt, i wanted to tell her today, if anyone cancels can she book me, because she knows im stressed out, but i didnt want to sound needy omg.

Maybe it is scary to need someone? Or that to say what you want sounds like you would be opening yourself up and you would be vulnerable? Or that the likelihood of getting in is small and might feel like rejection or failure?

I think it's a great question, and it would be something meaningful to explore in a session.

If I had to go through a secretary I wouldn't feel this way. At his last place he had a secretary and I didn't really have a problem.

I think its all of these, particularly the rejection/failure part as it seems every time I try to ask him for help I never get what I am asking for. I have never got help when I needed it maybe it reinforces the belief that I don't deserve help.

I totally experience it as a rejection or even animosity if I ask for something like that and my T doesn't accommodate me. Then I hate her for not caring about me and being selfish with her time and prioritizing her stupid other clients over me and loving them better than me. So I try not to ask.

It's neurotic and unhealthy and unreasonable but hey, if I had it all together there wouldn't be much to discuss, would there?

Have you discussed this with your T? If you did how did it go? I have the same feelings too I just realised. I just don't want to admit to him that I want him to love/like me.

At the risk of feeling rejected and unloved I sent the text. I now feel extremely anxious and my heart is pounding. I won't hear anything til maybe lunchtime or after 5pm. I can't believe I just did that. I feel sick.

You are courageous to be able to act in the face of fear. I hope he can find time for you, and if he can't, I imagine he will wish that he could.

I have. It felt kind of wretched to talk about it. She looked kind of sad and surprised but was pretty supportive. It doesn't really feel better to have discussed it. But then I think that for me, this terrible neediness is pretty much the core issue, the pit of despair, well of loneliness, butthole of angst or what have you from which everything else stems. You know?

So probably talking about it guardedly on a few occasions while trying to be brave and not completely freak right out isn't going to cut it really. I'm going to really have to get into it with her and wade through the hideous and nasty feelings that go with it all while knowing that when I really need an extra session it's going to be extra triggering to ask for it and a huge slap in the face if I don't get it. Because it'll be further proof of the very repulsiveness that causes me to need the extra session.

It's like that zen koan: that which you are seeking is causing you to seek.

Or whatever.

I just feel so wretched at the moment that I really need to have someone hear me I think. I don't know.

I am so glad i did this he texted back to say I am first on the wait list, as if that is going to happen but I feel validated.

OMG. I literally choked laughing. Butthole of Angst. LOL!

I'm so glad you did it. I know that was a hard thing. But don't let it be!! It's so not a thing at all. My T has a "service" that does all that jazz for her. You just have to say you want to be on the wait list and they call every time there's an opening. I have literally gotten like 6 calls in a week! It's nuts! But totally normal. So try not to feel like you're asking for anything at all. It's really a no biggie situation. They do it ALL. the. time.

I'm having the same issue with my T this week! I haven't texted him for awhile, but finally did today. His response was exactly the same as your T's. I wonder if we will get lucky and score some appointments? I don't feel validated though. Saying I'm "first on the list" feels like he's just trying to make up for the fact that he doesn't have the time to see me. Ugh.


“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

My next thought was what if i am the first and ONLY one on the list. I don't feel so special now.

Oy. Good point. I wish stuff like this didn't get to me all the time. I hate wanting and needing someone more than they will ever need me.

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

Yay. I have an appt tomorrow

Happy for you!! See?

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”