At age 14, I think I'd be nervous walking into that environment too. I don't blame you at all. You might let your mother know you love her, but the atmosphere makes you nervous, and you wouldn't quite feel safe there. Then call her, write her, however other ways they let you communicate with her, as often as you can, all the while reminding her you love her. Or, if you are assured that you would be safe, and you feel OK with it, visit if you want to.

I have respect for your mother's courage turning herself in. It was wrong of her to commit the crime, of course, but she knows that and wants to make it right. It sure beats trying to run, in my opinion, which is easier for some people to do, but only makes matters worse.

I think your dad does mean sort of a "let this be a lesson to you," when he talks about it being an educational experience. From the sound of things, I'm not sure you need that lesson. It sounds like you already know, jail is not a good place to be, and you have no intention of doing anything that would land you there.

You now see your mother as a human being capable of making mistakes, and that could be why you have an easier time talking to her about things. I'm glad you do. But after she's out (I don't know if you would do this or not, but just in case) I hope you don't remind her of it any time she corrects you for something. She would only be trying to stop you from making the same wrong turn she made. It's sort of like me giving relationship advice. I've made every mistake there is to make--that's how I *know*.