That is very difficult. I lost a two and a half year relationship that was very healthy because she could not handle my depression. She understood it too. She was just not able to deal with it. I couldn't make it go away for her. It is just a fact of my life. It hurt very much.

I had a marriage counselor that talked a lot about "I" statements. Never start a statement to your husband with "You". That will put him on the defensive right away. Say....I feel this way when this happens. I feel in invalidated. I feel judged. I can't help when I go into these episodes. etc etc. Also be assertive in communicating your needs. Sometimes I need to be left alone. Sometimes I just need you to listen and not try to fix me. I need to get professional help because this is real to me. etc etc.

If he gets defensive and angry try not to react by going on the counter offensive. Like.....I know how difficult this is for you and hard to understand but this is how it is for me, and explain how it is. If he would be willing to educate himself on depression that would be very helpful. some times if a doc explains it to him it makes all the difference because it is an impartial third party.

Those methods sound hokey but they work.