Oh, I see. BPD is very complex and it is easy to become overwhelmed when trying to understand the disorder. The hefty stigma attached to this diagnosis doesn't make life any easier. Have you been formally diagnosed with this?
I know my issue is that I feel selfish and ashamed for being so depressed when there is so much to be thankful for...but that's how depression works. It can be situational, chemical, or part of a neurological disorder such as Bipolar. There are so many illnesses and disorders that have similar symptoms and criteria so it can definitely be overwhelming.
You aren't confusing, I just like to double check I'm understanding correctly so I am able to respond accordingly.