One of the main things that clued me in on my ex T's countertransference (or just feelings?) was when I'd tell her something , and she would get visibly worked up or shaken over it. They teach T's to remain sort of neutral , and you could tell she was tying...but It didn't always work. The clearest memory I have of this is when I told her a particularly nasty thing that happened to me , she was literally writhing in her chair and making noises (mumbling) and when she was done she sat up straight, took a deep breath and said "ooook" . Like she had to work to gather herself. I don't particularly think there is anything "wrong" with counter transference (or again , feelings) as a matter of fact, it can even be flattering. However, I think if the T experiencing it doesn't handle it the right way...it can be damaging to both the therapeutic relationship and the client. It seems to me that your ex T could have handled this situation with a bit more grace & compassion. I'm so sorry you're hurt over this.