The way it sounds from Granite's post is that her T is silent and Granite perceives that as hostile. Unless she is silent when she should be talking (like after being asked a question), then her behavior is to the majority of people, benign. Granite's T doesn't change her behavior because that's not what would happen in the real world. If a t adapts their behavior to accommodate how a client may perceive it, then I don't see how that is helpful, or always even possible. A different client may perceive too many questions as hostile, a T can only adapt her own way of interacting so much. I think of therapy as a safe place to acknowledge our challenges and learn new ways of perceiving and coping with them. We can't expect other people to change behaviors that society in general accepts because we experience them differently. Philosophically this may not seem fair, and maybe it isn't. But it is the reality and one or those instances where you just have to accept it. I think that is