Definitely a big thing to process. I remember realizing I had PTSD after my SA. I figured it out on my own by reading the internet. I think that I was in shock when I first understood. But overtime it has been helpful to know what I have. It made me feel like something legitmate was going on, and that wasn't over reacting or making something up. It also helped me to understand that the trauma was very serious, and that I was right to have all the feelings I was having.

But I know that diagnosis doesn't always feel this way to everyone. A diagnosis can feel like a stigma or a defect too. And I think that worrying about those things is perfectly reasonable too. Although I sincerely hope in time that the diagnosis will help you understand you better, and know that the way that you and your body responded to what happened was all to keep you safe from some very painful and wrong things.