A T Suggested

A T suggested today that my diagnosis might be Complex PTSD. I have never heard of it but apparently Judith Herman wrote a book about it, Trauma And Recovery.

Have you heard of Complex PTSD??

I googled Complex PTSD and found...me. This is mostly how I feel.

I am distraught and grieved that the sustained child and adult abuse I have suffered was severe enough to disable me this way! Pre

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Scroll down to Adult Symptom Cluster:

Six clusters of symptoms have been suggested for diagnosis of C-PTSD.[3][39] These are (1) alterations in regulation of affect and impulses; (2) alterations in attention or consciousness; (3) alterations in self-perception; (4) alterations in relations with others; (5) somatization, and (6) alterations in systems of meaning[39]

Experiences in these areas may include

Difficulties regulating emotions, including symptoms such as persistent dysphoria, chronic suicidal preoccupation, self injury, explosive or extremely inhibited anger (may alternate), or compulsive or extremely inhibited sexuality (may alternate).

Variations in consciousness, including forgetting traumatic events (i.e., psychogenic amnesia), reliving experiences (either in the form of intrusive PTSD symptoms or in ruminative preoccupation), or having episodes of dissociation.

Changes in self-perception, such as a chronic and pervasive sense of helplessness, paralysis of initiative, shame, guilt, self-blame, a sense of defilement or stigma, and a -->>**sense of being completely different from other human beings.**

Varied changes in the perception of the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator (caution: victim's assessment of power realities may be more realistic than clinician's), becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, including a preoccupation with revenge
Alterations in relations with others, including isolation and withdrawal, persistent distrust, a repeated search for a rescuer, disruption in intimate relationships and repeated failures of self-protection.

Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.

I liked the book. Judith Herman is one of the few I did not find to be condescending and smug.

I am shocked. I can relate so much to this!

Yes I've heard of this. I don't have C-PTSD but I do have (but am mostly recovered from PTSD). My understanding is that C-PTSD usually requires multiple traumas, or a long trauma over a sustained period of time (usually moths or years). It seems to me from the symptom list above that people who have C-PTSD have had to learn to cope with prolonged trauma so they develop a different set of symptoms, although i don't think that the symptoms for C-PTSD are inertly distinct from the PTSD set. I'm certain that I have at least two friends with C-PTSD, and seems to me that they share a lot the same issues with me, but also have thing that I don't have like trouble remembering, or becoming extremely angry when triggered.

Has your T discussed a treatment plan with you? Are you going to work on they symptoms or are you focusing on the trauma?

Not, no treatment plan discussed with me, yet. I'm not sure what the options are. I am still processing the diagnoses....dealing with what it all means... Thank you for asking.

I'll share more as soon as I know.

Definitely a big thing to process. I remember realizing I had PTSD after my SA. I figured it out on my own by reading the internet. I think that I was in shock when I first understood. But overtime it has been helpful to know what I have. It made me feel like something legitmate was going on, and that wasn't over reacting or making something up. It also helped me to understand that the trauma was very serious, and that I was right to have all the feelings I was having.

But I know that diagnosis doesn't always feel this way to everyone. A diagnosis can feel like a stigma or a defect too. And I think that worrying about those things is perfectly reasonable too. Although I sincerely hope in time that the diagnosis will help you understand you better, and know that the way that you and your body responded to what happened was all to keep you safe from some very painful and wrong things.

I have heard of it... From my understanding it isn't and actual dx in the dsm yet? But many professionals will still use it. From my understanding the treatment is still the same..

I know how you eel though about the abused you endured doing such damage on you. It's so frustrating to know I deal with PTSF and BPD because of the trauma I endured.

Yup I heard of it. I am complex PTSD and you will want to google Peter Walker. He has the best information and recovery help out there.

I was diagnosed with it several years ago.

I remember a sense of relief and finally an understanding after being diagnosed. It was definitely shocking for a time, though.

Yes, there is a relief. For many years I've known something is seriously wrong with me. I've known it as certainly as I know my sexual orientation. I just couldn't figure out what it was. I have an unyielding depression that I've struggled with since, at least, age ten. I tried to kill myself at age ten.

I don't connect well with others. Early on I thought whatever was wrong with me was just immaturity and depression - and I'd grow out of that. Next, I wondered if I was DID. I feel like a child in a 59y/o body. Recently I wondered if I had Asberger's. I am socially inept. I feel alien. I feel like I am a different species of human being.

I was driving home from therapy yesterday and had an idea...maybe this is not Aspergers. Was the child abuse and adult abuse so bad...that it has made me feel this way?

Now a T has had me look at Complex PTSD. Oh my god, that's me. Almost every point is me.

The relief is that now the thing that's wrong with me has a name. It's not a foreboding entity. It's a condition that I can name and fight against.

I'm just so incredibly grieved that someone would abuse a little child so badly that they would pop out of their body and hover over the scene of the trauma and see everything that is happening to her. Again and again. Helpless. No escape. No rest. Then to be victimized several times as an adult- not see it coming. No one helping me.

I am grieved that everything that was done to me was so bad that it damaged me and changed who I was meant to be. The abuse damaged the child so she stopped growing emotionally while the rest of me was able to excel academically. Yet, I had trouble holding jobs because ...I wasn't emotionally prepared.

I'm sorry...i am processing this. I am sad. I am grieving.

Pre

It's totally okay. I understand the grief. Just recently I realized that all these painful feelings I've been going through recently that feel almost unbearable were forced on me as a child. And that I literally couldn't handle them as a child, which is why I deal with them now. I didn't have a "happy" childhood. I had a horrible one. And that's such a hard thing to come to terms with and accept.

(((Precaryous))) my story too almost word for word.

I hadn't heard of him, and google brought me right to his website:

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Judith Herman's book on trauma and recovery is also great.

I thought the information about co-dependency (usually a term I balk at) was really well-explained.

What hit me hardest is what he said about grieving a childhood (and for me, a big part of adulthood) where you didn't look out for yourself properly or establish healthy boundaries. That just feels like a big loss today. I have never heard anyone describe this as self abandonment.

To which of her books are you referring, Stop?

Never mind. I figured out you were discussing the one in the wikipedia article, right? Thanks for posting this thread precaryous. I think it does help all of us to know we are not alone, and to get recommendations for helpful things to read.