I'm sorry you're hurting, wajula, but it may be for the best, and I honestly feel that you knew that, deep in your thoughts, when you broke up with him.

I understand that you were grateful because he treated didn't 'treat you like a leper' after your dx, but that is no reason to stay with a very abusive (emotionally and verbally, if not physically just yet) man. Especially one who seems to be more of a 'boy' at this point in his life than a man...which is what you deserve right now. A fully grown, man.

I know it hurts (believe me I do!) but I also know it will get easier so don't give up PM me anytime if you need to talk.