should i let this relationship go

hello all..thanks for taking the time out to read my post

im going through a very confusing time in my relationship with my boyfriend..sigh..he says he loves me but honestly I don't think he really loves me the way he says he does...his roommate disrespected me, I went over to my bf house and his roommate came outside im guessing he was getting ready to go to work..he came up to my car and said hello. We chatted for a little and then he proceeds to show me his std test results??? I was taken aback because we do not have a relationship like that..he then proceeds to tell me how he is with a lot of females and he likes to hit it raw and blah blahblah a lot of unnecessary things that I didn't need to know.. I don't know if he was testing me or what...it was just way tooo much info. anyway I mentioned to my bf about his roommate showing me his test results and the first thing my bf says is 'are you fng him'? I couldn't believe he asked me that...I was going to tell him about the other things that was said to me but I fell back...I didn't mention it until the following week..couldn't hold it in..i felt guilty...I told him bits n pieces because I couldn't remember it all... long story short we got into a heated argument I felt as if he didn't believe anything I was saying to him so I hung up on him...after a couple days we made up...but not one time did he mention the situation. I would always have to bring it up..to see if he talked to the guy or not..its just so weird..it makes me very uncomfortable. he says to me that his roommate is going to apologies to me...then he says his roommate tells him all he said was something that he said to me a week after the incident.... my boyfriend end up sending me a picture of his roommate with a bloody face...the caption read this is what happens to anyone who lies to me and disrespects my girlfriend...it was a fake picture I know it was...he says he got it off his roommates instagram..but little do he knows I checked his rm instagram as soon as he sent it to me....smh....he lied to me and then broke up with me because I would not drop the situation...I am currently back with him but having a hard time trusting him...I wasn't trying to break his friendship up..all I wanted was some reassurance...help me please

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Wow, this is a tough one, for sure. I get you're feeling weird about the roommate and the tmi situation...imo, yeah, definately too much. Why he felt the need to tell you could be lots of things, most of them based on his age, sorry to say. He could just be awkwardly flirting, awkwardly bragging or just being totally awkward.

I am concerned that your bf's first response when you quite naturally told him was to question your fidelity. Inappropriate. And I'm sorry you had to fall back, so to speak, because you were now put in a position to doubt his appreciation of your feelings. At least you did tell him, but...and this is a big, huge but.....the phony pictures of a supposed beaten up room mate?

Totally unneccesary and over the top, real or faked. This is the thing that would totally concern me. I understand you two are back together, but did you speak to him about the pictures and your trust issues? I don't know if it's time to cut and run....just sounds like a lot of immaturity going on, but I do think, if you're having issues, you need to talk to him about them, gage his reaction, and then take it from there.

Good luck

your bf and the rm are losers. GET out of the situation. I guarantee it's not the last time things get messy like this. Your bf is a potential abusive man in that he's using threatening, even violent pictures to verbalize his feelings. That's particularly scary even if they were faked pics.

I would have left the instant he turned the situation on you and asked if you were having sex with his room mate. That right there was a line that should not have been crossed. it was uncalled for, there was nothing in what you were sharing that would make anyone in their right mind jump to that conclusion.

Not sure why you're back with him. He's liked, disrespected you, caused all kinds of pain, and on top of that, what kind of redeeming qualities does he even have that make you want to endure all that ?

thanks for the reply waiting4 yes this situation is really immature. I feel in debted to him because he treated me so kindly and normal sorta speak..you see I have hsv2...he is the first guy ive been with since I found out my diagnosis..he doesn't treat me like a leper......I know ultimately I cannot depend on anyone to make me happy it has to be within..im just going to take it one day at a time....

i understand exactly how you feel..its super awkward...sigh...time will tell rather or not we are meant to be together

So I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel like hell!! Apart of me feels relieved and the other part of me just wants to die!!! I know men handle things differently than woman... I feel I put to much pressure on him... I want him back but I'm afraid he isn't going to give us a chance again....

I'm sorry you're hurting, wajula, but it may be for the best, and I honestly feel that you knew that, deep in your thoughts, when you broke up with him.

I understand that you were grateful because he treated didn't 'treat you like a leper' after your dx, but that is no reason to stay with a very abusive (emotionally and verbally, if not physically just yet) man. Especially one who seems to be more of a 'boy' at this point in his life than a man...which is what you deserve right now. A fully grown, man.

I know it hurts (believe me I do!) but I also know it will get easier so don't give up PM me anytime if you need to talk.

the thank you so much!!

It sounds like your bf's roommate has a problem with commitment with one girl and only one. Your bf is best friends with him so he get defensive and doesn't want to look at the facts. You need to stay away from the roommate and probably ignore him and just go straight to your bf. Keeping on the defense yourself with the roommate is important protecting yourself. Is seems like the roommate likes you. Just becareful. If you showed him the facts of his roommate and your bf doesn't believe you and defends him, then I probably would get out of that situation.