Im not crazy about hand jobs or blow jobs either.

However when I give him a blow job and I see pleasure in his face, hear his sighs, feel his body respond, and feel his hands in my hair its all worth it. I love giving him pleasure.

Hand jobs are the same way. But I use lube and it makes it go faster. (yep I admit it) Try that, its easier too.

As far as an orgasm goes, its ok just to enjoy sex without one. I never had a big one until I was married for 19 years. Dont put so much pressure on it. Relax and just enjoy. Try different positions and hopeful that will help.