I can relate, not now but years ago. And I didn’t experience angry thoughts either. Maybe I was too afraid of the thoughts even. So I was kind of the exact opposite – obsessive, compulsive goody-two shoes. Finally got over it. 50 years of therapy on and off, the last 4 years finally effective but excruciatingly, horribly painful. I got connected to feelings of abandonment, rejection, left alone in horrible physical pain and nausea, terror. . . all the stuff I had dissociated from as a child. So that all the other ways I had of trying to cope in the world without feeling all my feelings meant that I had had a personality disorder. Year of "counseling" didn't help because it didn't get deep enough.

My guess is that you don’t like to be around others’ intense emotions because you are disconnected from, and can’t tolerate, your own intense emotions. I can’t tell subtle emotions very well either – it’s the same thing, if you’re cut off from your emotions then you don’t have access to them in “small” measure either. I’m getting better but it’s slow. And your anger/rage could be a “defense” against horrible, unbearable feelings of not counting (e.g., being left alone in a hospital plus multiple instances of being discounted, disrespected, humiliated, etc.) like I had. But recognizing that doesn’t mean that the cure is easy.

It IS possible. Just possibly extraordinarily difficult. And most of the shrinks I went to didn’t have a clue. And their not having a clue and “blaming” me and telling me to “get in touch with my feelings” and stuff like that they didn’t know what they were talking about – really sucks. Hurt me, held me back, damaged me more sometimes. Iatrogenic psychology. I finally learned how to avoid it but the damage and wasted years were extensive. And expensive, of course.

So . . . if you’re not acting out your angry thoughts, that’s good. Acting them out can cause problems for you directly as you know, as well as guilt, which if you are or get connected to your feelings then that can really, really hurt, too.

Try to find a good therapist, specialist in "tough stuff". Get away from those who make you feel put down -- you can talk to them once about it if you want to try -- maybe you can work things out with them and that would be good -- but if they don't get it then get out of their office.

Sucks that there’s no specialist hospital or institution or organization or anything. But so far as I know there isn’t.

Keep posting if that helps, don’t give up, good luck.