Depression runs in my family, so I have struggled with it my whole life. Without health insurance, staying on meds has been difficult. I have been off meds for 3 years and over the last year and a half (after my first and only child was born) it's been a roller coaster!

All I ever wanted in this life is to become a wife and mother, it's what I was born to do. Most people's dreams are to become doctors or lawyers, but for me it was always to be a mommy. And then when it finally happened, I couldn't handle it. I have this awesome little boy and it's like I'm empty inside and I can't enjoy him. We have great days where I'm beaming with joy and pride. But those days are often followed by days where I can't get out of bed and can't stop crying.

Over the last few weeks it's gotten much much much worse. I'm a SAHM with no car all day long. My husband takes our only car to work from 5-5 every day. I'm cooped up in the house all day every day. It takes every ounce of energy to not scream and yell at my poor innocent little boy. Anytime he does anything "baby-like" I just lose my mind! It's like my fuse is so short. I get soooo angry. I don't know what to do!!

I have no friends so I'm totally isolated, I never leave the house or talk to anyone. It's starting to ruin my marriage because my husband just doesn't get it. He has never had depression so he thinks I should be able to just "relax." He doesn't understand hat it's not that easy for me. It never has been. I made a doctor appointment for next week but I'm not sure we will have the money for me to go (no insurance, remember).

I'm not searching for a cure or answers, I just need to talk. Talking has always helped me but I have nobody to talk to. It helps tremendously to just get this off my chest. Thanks for listening