Thanks for your reply too trying2survive (um, by the time you wrote this I’d already written my second post on this thread but it hasn’t been approved yet cuz I’m still under 5 posts which is why these two are separate)

I know what you mean about the not dabbling in relationships bit… I know at least one other girl with BPD who also decided at one point to stop dating because she said she’s “not healthy” when in any kind of a relationship. I wonder how common it is among us to become generally more unbalanced when with someone… Still, I don’t really want to think of staying alone forever as the answer :/. My mother had BPD too (not officially dxed but she certainly fit the bill) and for the last 20+ years of her life she stayed single on purpose… sometimes the idea appeals to me too but I don’t really want to end up the same way…

I don’t really get to see the guy at work every day btw. It’s only when we get assigned to working side on the same thing on the same day, which happens about twice a week, and even then we don’t always have a chance to talk. I agree that that usually helps against intensity though. My best friend (of 5 years now) have a rule of only talking to each other for a set amount of time once a week (she’s a BPDer too btw and a strong believer in boundaries).