hey there. thanks for replying. but the problem is, i really don't know if im whining for nothing and getting people in this situation, like my parents and sis, or if it's sincere what im feeling. i know even then i wouldn't be allowed to let my parents and sis have all this trouble with me. but it really goes wrong between him and me (we aren't in a relationship) and i wanna know why. because if you really like someone everything is supposed to be alright? or not? i don't know what makes me do all this stuff to him. i jumped from conclusion to conclusion for long to explain myself, and all i can think of if he cares about me too.. just as a friend at least. i mean it's internet, im far away, he doesn't even know if i care if i would. i would find a job and change myself for him if that's what helped.

hey there, thanks for your reply. i would change my life for him if it helped, but i just wanna know why i do all these things, and if i really like him. i mean, if you really like someone everything is supposed to be alright, isn't it? the only thing i could talk about with him the last days i have talked with him, were vague explainations about why i behaved this way, and if he cared about me (we aren't in a relationship). now he dislikes me. i wonder if he really dislikes me. but like, it's so far away. and he's hanging out with all sorts of people who he might like more than me.. im nothing to him. and how can i ever become something to him? that's like, impossible. so i give up.