You guys are right, I need to apologize for what I said. Em and I had a nice chat over PM, and I totally misread the situation. Sorry to all of you guys too.

I was just reminded of the thing that happened to me, and I projected that onto all of you and it's not right. So, if anyone is the bad person around here, it's me.

I always knew I was a sick monster and this just proves it. If I get isolated I deserve it. Nobody should have to deal with a jerk like me, what happened to me with that girl was right, I just didn't want to believe that I was an unlovable, gross, sadistic human being, but I am, I lived in denial. I deserve to be dumped and discarded, because I'm a very sick human being. There is only one person to blame, and that is me.

I hate all the things you are saying about yourself. I do not believe others want you to go anywhere.

Time and motivation to make things better is what works...and being here is helpful.

Like you said..your reponse was personal to things that have happened to you. I have responded here to things that triggered me as well. Being aware of it, as you are, says a lot. If you choose to close your

Person X is nothing like me, I am worse. Person X is a good guy compared to me. I should voluntarily remove my account here, because I don't deserve the support I get from all of you, and come to think of it, all the people in real life too.

I am so sorry to all of you, and please petition to have me removed from here. You guys deserve people that build you up, that are constructive to your healing, not an asshole like me. I've read some of my previous posts and I realised I never have anything positive to add to anyone's life here, I am undoing all the good work that so many others here are trying to do, and that is just testament to what a sick jerk I am.

So I promise, I vow, after this post, I will never ever post anything again. You guys deserve so much better than the **** I dish up. I deserve no help, I deserve everything that ever happens, or has happened, to me in my life. I mean she was right, she just showed me without telling me, what a loser I was all along. Oh, sorry for the confusion, I'm speaking about the girl in my posts.

I thank all of you over all this time that have tried so hard to give me support and care that nobody else would. It was great. I never met any of you in person, but grew closer to you than to people in my own real life. I wish all of you the best and that you guys can conquer all the trials and tribulations that have befallen you. But, as for me, you can all see, they have conquered me and broken my spirit, there is no return for me. I speak with their mouths now. The original Adrian is dead.