I was at another site but things got really strange there and a lot of people left. It was a case of some serious abuse going on, it turns out by someone running the site!! Is was shocking. So I am shell shocked. I figured out what was going on and was gotten rid of very quickly. Loads of people left and scattered all over. I am missing that site and realizing how important it was to me in my day to day stabilization and sense of connection. I am sad and angry that that is gone. And I feel violated. Very violated. The law is involved in it so it could be a court case--so it's not something small or my imagination.

I also need a job. I have had some money for a change and normally I can get a job to tide me over in a few weeks. It has now been 6 months!!! and I cannot get a job. I am talking about your basic customer service job. I am getting very scared. My last several jobs were pretty short. A couple times they decided I was not right and a couple of times I decided they were not right. I have never been let go so many times in my life as I have these last several years. It has been hell. I also am worried because one temp agency changed my resume around and made those short jobs look like contract positions--meant to be short. I think I need to update those resumes and correct that. I am just so worried. I lost my support group, was violated, and cannot find a job. And as always when times are especially hard I miss my dog. My dog Beau is the greatest love of my life. He died almost 2 years ago. I have cried for him all but a handful of days during that time. I miss him constantly. I have had pets before but that was nothing like this. This was a match made in heaven with such a mutual love it is hard to comprehend. I keep hoping he will come back to me. But I fear he won't and that the rest of my life will have a background of sadness to it because of the horrible pain of losing Beau. I tried other dogs and it was a disaster. I miss Beau. The love of my life. Please pray for me.