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Old Jul 27, 2014, 07:46 AM
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Hellion Hellion is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,794
Quote:
Originally Posted by chelsea89 View Post
I want to add to "the fend for ourselves" bit. Bullying plays a really big part in it, but that's certainly not all that contributes to that sentiment. I know for me growing up was hell. Screaming because my mom would brush and wash my hair and it felt as though something was ripping my hair collectively from the roots while scratching the top of my head (I used to check if my head was bleeding after my mom brushed my hair). I was in pain but got told that "It doesn't hurt that bad, hold still or I'll give you a reason to cry.". I also got told to stop being a smart-*** for doing things exactly how someone told me to do them (look in the drawer under the microwave, I lifted the microwave up). I had no idea what I was doing wrong, but it seemed like I couldn't do anything right. Everything has to be put into steps for me too. So if someone told me for the first time to load a dishwasher, I would have to be shown step by step how to do it. I used this as an example because I was smacked upside the head and told to get out if I didn't want to help when I couldn't figure out where to put the little pods filled with soap, because one said liquid and the other side said powder. I wasn't being stupid, I just didn't know where the "pods" container was. Times these stupid incidents by everyday of your life and you start to learn to either hang back and observe, risk asking for help and becoming the annoyance, or looking what you can up ahead of time.

Also Hellion, he probably has a very valid reason to be skeptical of the mental health industry. Alot of Aspies I know that grew up in the 80's and 90's are, including myself. I've matured a bit in that view at this point, but I was horribly misdiagnosed and overmedicated, institutionalized in a residential facility (which does nothing for people with Aspergers except patronize them) all the while my labels made doctors invalidate my legitimate concerns and focus on things I wasn't having issues with or approaching them horribly wrong. For instance I have to keep moving and love to be upside down/spinning because it feels good and feels like spiders or jitters crawling through me when I'm sedentary. I was put on ADHD medication which threw those senses into overdrive and for 10 years I was stuck taking stimulants that made me aggressive (for which I was diagnosed as bipolar and put through another drug regimen, but then I had some sort of psychosis and so on and so on.). Many females with Asperger's have been misdiagnosed with BPD before being recognized as being on the spectrum.
Its hard to go ask these people for help when all they've done in the past is misinterpret your struggles as defiance, anti-social behavior, narcissism, and dependency/emotional instability.
I grew up in the 90's and have aspergers(though I did not find out till a few years ago), and I am also skeptical of the mental health industry...since there is a lot of prescription drug pushers and doctors that care much more about the pay-check than actually treating patients and helping them attain better mental health....much of the time it feels like they just throw an anti-depressant at you and you get hooked up with therapy that has half assed management so you end up having to switch therapists frequently, I had to deal with some ignorant doctors/staff during a trip to the psych ward....so yeah I know the mental health system sucks, isn't doing a very good job of actually helping people with mental illnessess, then there is all the social stigma on top of that.

I don't see how that sort of thing would make someone rationalize a person with legitimate issues needs to just 'suck it up and get over it' its likely unhealthy to be in a relationship with someone of that opinion...unless you don't require any validation for your feelings/experiences/difficulties...my opinion is people who say/think that are jerks....I am sure if everyone could just suck it up and get over it when it comes to mental health issues they would...but many of us can't.

I guess I don't see the correlation between what you're talking about, and the OP's boyfriend thinking if someone has issues they just need to magically get over it and fix them-self. I couldn't date someone who said stuff like that when I am having trouble with symptoms or am legitimately upset by something.

I think people still need help, and the system we have does a crap job of providing it, let along effective help. Also maybe if I wasn't bullied so much as a child I'd be better at 'fending for myself' I am sure there are others who get what I mean. Either way not trusting the mental health system and having aspergers are not reasons to be a jerk.
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