Quote:
Originally Posted by zinco14532323
As you know I think how the NHS is treating you and others is horrible. I am not sure how you hang on as you have your mother and work to worry about. Normally I would say let yourself be the way you are and sleep all the time or whatever but with work looming that may not be a good idea. I am not sure how you could work in the state you are in. Are there any disability benefits available? If you are unable to go to a self help group how are you going to be able to work? Maybe you should try really hard to get to a free support group.
|
In terms of sleep, my ad is pretty good at regulating that, it acts on melatonin and as long as I sleep at night I don't need to sleep during the day anymore. I can and do sleep a lot in the daytime but it isn't that deep overwhelming urge, more like a dog napping to while away the hours.
The problem with my job is that it is a desk job and a thinking job that requires concentration and attention to detail, also as a lot of the material I deal with concerns victims of crime it can be quite triggering. I end up either fretting and worrying or just closing down. I would be better in a role where I had to interact with people directly as that way I would have an immediate focus. I will ask my employers ( a big city council with lots of different kinds of jobs) if they can move me to something on a temporary basis maybe to an IT support job, something that is problem solving rather than analytical. Even then the thought of getting up, showered and dressed and into work for 8 hours a day seems impossible. If I don't go back to work when my employer's sick pay ends, I will qualify for SSP but this will only be about 20% of what I earn and won't even cover the bills. I guess I'll have to try to make it back in and hope they don't sack me for unacceptable performance.
Looked into free support groups but they are all a bit "happy clappy" for me, singing meh. Dropping the sarcasm, the groups that are available are not really aimed at the depressed. I did think about volunteering at one group but they have a waiting list for volunteers. There are charities that offer reduced cost therapy but they are fully booked, though the waiting list is not as long as for the NHS. My concern about the charities is they have a heavily christian bias and I have enough hang-ups in that respect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinco14532323
Your not selfish and you deserve more. The fact that NHS does not have the money and don't prioritize mental health is not your fault and no is reflection on you. Doesn't leave you in a good position though but it in no way reflects on you. It is on them.
|
I beat myself up about being selfish, ironically I do it to try and turn my attention outwards and focus on what I have rather than what I don't have. That should be a good thing, but I do the right thing in the wrong way. Maybe that is why after a good few years of doing OK I crashed so badly. Even though I'm doubtful about CBT, I guess if it helps me do the right things in a less critical way it could be what I need. Thanks for provoking me into a bit of practical thought, I needed a nudge in the right direction.