This morning I suddenly had a wild thought. Maybe instead of trying to move closer to being the woman I never was... I should try being the man I never was! It would be much easier since I'm stuck in this creaky old male body anyway. I could just let all of the disgusting hairs grow back all over the place. I could look in the mirror & not be repelled by what I see. Maybe I'd even get to the point where I'd be satisfied to continue living! (Well... maybe THAT'S a little far-fetched.)

I could sit on the couch, eat junk food & watch football! Maybe I'd even bring home a case of Bud Light!

And, if I REALLY wanted to get into it... I'd go out & buy me a new pick-up! Yeah... I'd get me a Dodge Ram 4X4 super cab... sw-e-e-e-e-e-t... And then I could buy some tickets to a Vikings game & drive there in my new wheels. Maybe I'd even go bare-chested & paint my body purple & gold... & wear a Viking helmet... you know... the kind with horns that the real Vikings never wore!

Ah... I don't know. This is starting to sound just as involved as shaving my legs... Maybe I'll just stick my head in the toilet & flush...