Hey all,

I am still around...been kinda laying low lately, but I think made a breakthrough of sorts understanding myself lately.

Recently my wife had been commenting on how I have appeared to be a little manic (meaning hypomanic). I didn't really think much of it....just kinda shrugged it off saying, "Maybe." (though I had noticed that I was spending more money than I normally would -- on music, at menards, whatever)

Then half a week ago, I had a day off work and my wife and I were discussing the family budget -- she has recently decided to pursue a PsyD degree, which means a lot more student debt -- however it also means she'll be able to command more income later on.

Anyway, we were talking about how strapped we'd be while she's in school. This created in a large amount of anxiety (money talk always does) -- which in turn caused me to become more severely hypomanic.

This was presenting itself in my zoom around the house doing chores like a maniac (see what I did there) -- very intensely jump from one thing the next, but still managing to get it all done. During that time I was also singing, dancing, making repetitive sounds (like phrases, or non-sense), just being -- well manic.

Then yesterday, my wife commented that I appeared be quite down....at first, my reaction was to deny it -- "I'm fine, really!" But as I explored my feelings and emotional state more, I realized that I was feeling down...

The right before bed, when I should have been brushing my teeth and getting calm and ready to chill, I decided was a perfect to start monkeying with all the loose door knob in a our bedroom. Yay! 10:30 handyman special!

Then today, I get into work and slam out a document I have been putting off for months -- a rather complex one....

I have I knew the depressive mood was coming after the manic episode, but I am finding them to kind of intertwine and occur together.

Just being aware of all this is A HUGE step forward for me...in understanding myself and actions and emotions.

AND!!! I found a trigger! -- Budget Worries -- gotta work on that.

Thanks for reading this rather long post.

~angry1541