Hello Doppeling: I'm sorry to learn of your difficulties. I don't know how old you are. But if you have guardians, I presume you must still be a minor. As such, there's probably not much you can do about your difficulties with your aunt other than to try to find some common ground between what she wants & what you want. Once you're on your own, you'll be able to do as you please. I think the problems you're having with your aunt are not significantly different than any young person has with parents, or in this case, guardians. Perhaps others will have more specific suggestions for you with regard to this.

What I wanted to focus on more was the question about being trans. And basically what I want to say is: if a person is truly transsexual, it does not go away, no way, no how. At least this is my belief based on my own life experience & all of the reading I've done, etc. So I was struck by your statement: "I'm starting to question me being trans... Like sure being a guy sucks for me and I'd much rather be a girl, but my life seems to be getting better." And it's not the fact that you're questioning that caught my attention. All of us "trannies" question ourselves over-&-over. That's just part of the game.

The reason that sentence caught my eye is out of concern for where you might be headed, so to speak. Of course, as I'm sure you're aware, there is no test for transsexuality. Each one of us has to decide in our own minds whether or not we are or are not. And this decision-making process is complicated further by the fact that the "transsexual imperative" (the urge to transition, if you will) is stronger in some trans individuals than it is in others. Not every trans person feels the same amount of urgency. So, where one trans person might be satisfied to wear underwear of the "opposite gender", another person might not be satisfied until s/he had transitioned fully & completely. So you not only have to decide if you're transsexual. But you also have to figure out how far you have to go, so to speak, in order to satisfy your own personal "imperative".

So when you write: being a guy sucks & you'd rather be a girl, it causes me to want to say to you, ultimately, if you're truly transsexual, you don't have a choice. The only questions are: how far into transition must you go in order to satisfy your own personal transsexual imperative, & how long will it take before you get to the point where you must do something. Does that make sense? Now I do also know many transsexual individuals experience periods in their lives when they feel less compelled to transition. Sometimes they come to believe they've beaten it. This is why you have transsexual individuals who are married & have children who, later on, find that they must transition. They perhaps thought getting married & having children, would cure them. But it doesn't. Sooner or later it comes back stronger than ever. And sooner or later we all find that we have to do something to appease the inner storm.

Now, I hope it does not sound like I'm trying to tell you what to do. This is something you must figure out for yourself, of course. But I wanted to raise a red flag here. If you are truly transsexual (& only you can know for sure) even if now your current life circumstances are such that you question yourself, somewhere down the road sooner or later, your transsexual imperative will rise up like a storm on the sea. So, simply give this allot of thought & whatever time you need in order to figure it out, to the extent you can. Because, once again, if you're truly trans, you're trans for life, It does not go away.