People can be a LCSW and never practice in a clinical setting. Bereavement is a very specialized area and she's probably taken some special post-graduate training sessions to get a certificate in Bereavement Counseling. But that doesn't mean that she has ever practiced as a clinician in a clinical/clinic setting. Bereavement counseling/therapy is very focused on the issue of dealing with grief, death and dying. It's not trauma therapy in the sense that you are in trauma/in-depth psychotherapy. Bereavement therapy is usually pretty short term, especially if the therapist is from a hospice program. If a client has more long term issues related to grief and depression from the loss of a loved one, the hospice counselor will usually refer the person to a long term therapist.

This woman has overstepped her boundaries. First of all, she has ignored your frank and honest boundary stating that you have a therapist and are only present at the sessions because your husband has asked you to be there. Dumping on you AND your therapist as being inflexible when you clearly have a good relationship with her is not okay! It is a newbie mistake. She doesn't understand the importance of not invading or stepping into the therapeutic space of a client who has an individual therapist. She is setting up herself as your husband's champion and you sit on the other side. Not healing or good in any situation! Good marriage or family therapists know how to walk this tight rope with skill. They have sessions all the time when one or both of their clients have individual therapists and they know full well that things will tank if they side with one client against the other client and his/her therapist.

I think you just need to be firm with her, Sweepy. Let her know that you have the right to privacy and you have a very trusting relationship with your therapist . . . okay, you have to stretch the truth here a bit because your therapist has let you down a bit lately, but I sure wouldn't let this woman know that If she doesn't honor your boundary, just get up and leave. Your husband is using a bit of blackmail (all partners do at some time or other) by stating he won't continue if you don't participate. If he's getting something out of the sessions and it sounds like he is, he'll stay even if you don't. I hope things work out for you.