I have changed my mind on this as I didn't realize you had three children to be concerned about. Is she going to divorce you if you don't have the surgery? If your kids are still minors and at home, I think you need to do what it will take to keep the family unit in tack for now. I doubt you really want more kids or are thinking you will find some young chickie to start another family with right? And I don't think your "manhood" is in your jeans now is it? It really is between your ears.