Some time ago my brother told me about his plans (steered by his girlfriend) to have a 50th birthday bash. From the beginning I was hesitant to say yes, because our relationship is competitive, although he doesn't see it, and frankly I'm a bit jealous (I'll be 60 next year and never have big parties!) I also think he has a touch of narcissism. This is the slightest bit irritating. He's invited family members including my elderly dad who I've managed to reconcile with over the years, and an old friend of his who I'm not comfortable with - in short it will probably be fun but I'll be burying old feelings to get through it. Many complications: a) he's a 6 hour travel time from us, and I'd be bringing my 11 year old with me just to spend some time with cousins - round trip, down on Saturday and up on Sunday. b) I want to go to the big climate march the next day, and consider this a very important event for my daughter. c) for all I know he'll be announcing an engagement to his girlfriend, although this is pure conjecture. I've never been married. This would be crushing for me. I did tell him that I had the climate march, a couple of weeks ago, and he forgot the conversation! Would love any kind of feedback on this one. I promised to give him my answer tomorrow evening (today is 9/6.) Thanks! confused, waffling and pissed off even to be in this situation.