Yes! I think you really pinned it down. He might be pulling away. He does know this and when I told him of recently of intense needs and thoughts related to closeness, really young child feelings, he wanted to change the therapy up a bit. I know i'm too needy, and he knows this too. How could anyone not feel like pulling back?

Once I felt how good it was, I became addicted because of intense needs from childhood. My mother wasn't necessarily inconsistent, though; she totally neglected me. But she had to have done something right since I am here and alive...not thriving though.

T says what I refer to as sweet and nurturing = love. My last T said I needed to be loved by him too.

And I guess it's not his job to provide that; his role is to help me get better. But to be honest, that is part of the reason I am in therapy--to get some of that nurturing I never got. And I do need to be loved by someone. That's really all I want in life now. Just to be loved by someone special (I don't mean my therapist here). I am still not optimistic about that every happening.

I was just thinking that I didn't tell the whole story, so I don't want to be misleading....

He is always consistently accepting, understanding, attentive, and empathetic. Very active in listening and sharp and always seems interested. It's just the extra moments of nurturing--when he is protective or extra sweet, I leave feeling like I'm melting. I desperately crave this so much.

But I'm also thinking he's not generally as warm and fuzzy as your T, or other Ts. He never says/does some of the stuff I hear here. I'm ok with that, but it when he is like that it feels intoxicating.

I don't know how people can say a therapist's job is easy. I can't imagine him having more than 1 'me' to work with. I must be exhausting to him...