I'm not really sure if I'm depressed or maybe just suffering from extreme loneliness, but what's odd is, I feel so lonely most of the times even if nothing really happened to me, I just suddenly feel lonely and it feels like it's eating me inside until I just feel empty and worthless. I do have suicidal thoughts and I cut my arms, and I feel even lonelier when my friends see it and they would give me a look of "pity" making me feel like I'm a pathetic being and I should just die so I won't give unnecessary worries to others. I've read articles about depression and it seems that I have one but there's a part inside me that doesn't believe it. I want to know and I want to deal with it better because I don't want to be a burden to others even though I am now being a burden to them...

I'm sorry, I really find it hard to express myself since I can't find the right words to describe my emotions.