Hi JaneC. I know it can be hard sometimes to post your true feelings. Sometimes because you don't want to hear the wrong answers or feel like an attention seeker. I post not too often but more often than I reply to posts. And I feel bad because maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself and maybe try to help others. I guess my point is you're not alone. If you want to vent go ahead. Isn't that what we do on here? I know I do because I have no therapist and my friends and family don't understand me. Not even my wife. Don't let anyone judge you. We are who we are and if they don't like it them it's their problem. Hope you feel better soon.