It is frustrating that it's impossible to get help until one is almost at the point of dying.....my MD would only treat me medically when I was at the point where I needed to be hospitalized (kept checking my weight when I was going back for care after I had a horrible asthma attack from a forest fire smoke & had been in the hospital that summer for that). But neither my pdoc not my MD really listened to what it was that I was telling them about the trauma that I went through when my mom was dying of cancer that fall.....maybe because they knew I had been treated for anorexia before....but I realize now that none of us knew WHY that happened either. AFter I finally got out of the medical hospital (In & out for 2 months) it was impossible to get any help. MD had done the IV nutrition through the central line.....pdoc wanted me to find a treatment center....but treatment centers that I talked to only dealt with body image issues, not the helping me deal with the trauma I had gone through & I knew that was the cause of the anorexia in a serious way that time......so I got absolutely NO HELP & no one wanted to listen.....I remember being so angry & so frustrated I honestly only wanted to curl up & die. If it hadn't been for my new foal that my mare had the September before....I'm sure that's what I would have done......I had no one left alive to really care about or be cared about by.......interesting realization....no wonder it wasn't a big deal to me to just take my inheritance & move 2100 miles away to get out of the bad marriage & get away from the place with all the PTSD triggers leaving that life behind.....it really helped & living alone has really kept me keeping myself more healthy than I had been for almost 20 years.

I have a psychologist now who is willing to discuss the anorexia issues but also keeps it in DBT terms of what skills I need to focus on to keep myself from falling into that trap again.......the real test is still coming up....having all my teeth removed & getting 2 implants & dentures...long process & long time without being able to eat normal food & after the ED treatment center......Ensure isn't an option...just makes me sick.....but I finally have a psychologist who listens to me....& also provides wonderful input....where previous T's listened but didn't hear & never provided any input......even when I was below a safe weight while trying to recover....it was impossible both times to find any really good help anywhere....I definitely understand what you are saying.