Hello mommaxo: I'm so sorry you have had to endure such abuse. Your stepfather clearly has his own mental health problems. Unfortunately he is either not willing, or not able, to recognize this himself. And so, by his actions, he has added mightily to your problems.

I don't know about the relationship between physical abuse & sexual abuse. I would presume there is a strong link though.

I believe there are no "shoulds" with regard to the feelings one might have about something like this. You feel whatever you feel. And whatever your feelings are, they are legitimate. This sort of experience can, however, be confusing. And left unresolved, your feelings can become overwhelming over time. So I hope you have the opportunity, either now or in the near future to talk all of this through with a therapist who is experienced in working with sexual abuse victims. My best wishes to you...