Quote:
Originally Posted by no7222401
Update:
Today is day 9 since I left him. He wants to have a trail now. A week, to see if he's gotten better. I told him that he can fake it for a week, hell he could even fake it for a month. All he's done since I have left is read a book about abuse. He hasn't even had any therapy or gone to abuse group sessions. Just read 1 book.
He says that he's been working on his anger, that he has been putting himself in situations that normally make him angry so he can learn patience. I just don't feel like that fixes everything.
I don't believe him when he says he's changed, and I feel guilty for just wanting to break up for good. I'm so exhausted from the same things. I don't trust him and it hurts me to even say that i'm afraid of him. Even though he claims that he would never do anything to hurt me - how can I believe that after what he's done? I've been with him for 6 years and i'm just done. Does this make me a bad person?  I don't know what to do anymore.
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You are not a bad person. Your abuser is controlling and manipulating you back under his thumb, it's been 9 days with no scapegoat and nobody to take his anger out on. The honeymoon period (where abusers promise to change, treat you like a queen, and pretend they are perfect) is very short. My guess is by the third day he would be yelling at you for leaving him, being suspicious of WHY you left, what you did while you were apart, WHO you were with, any number of things.
Abuse typically escalates after the victim leaves, when the abuser convinces the victim to come back, the abuser becomes convinced that no matter what happens, the victim will always forgive and forget.
Please stay separated and safe until you gain perspective on this situation. Here's a hand you can hold and a shoulder to cry on if you need it.