Cashart, I think he did tell you how he REALLY feels, and was honest with that. He is very clear and you know it - you know that he is at the end of his rope because he cursed for the first time in 11 years. He also says that things have worn on him, which seems totally believable, and that he does not know what he will do if the madness continues, and that he does not know what to do is consistent with his saying that this has been going on for two years non-stop; it is also consistent with his cursing for the first time. So he is not playing games with you nor is he trying to trick or deceive you - he is being open, honest, and authentic in what he says. You think the conversation was very ugly; I think it was very helpful in that it confirmed that he wants to stay with you but does not know if he could persevere for much longer. Nothing ugly - it is a call for action. What do you mean by saying that you are switching to your old dr. in a MONTH? Do you mean that you tried to get an earlier appointment with the old dr but could not because the dr. is booked? Or is because the current dr. is relocating in a month? Because if you can help it, you must see the old dr NOW. And tell him what you H said yesterday, so that the dr. would appreciate the sense of urgency. If the current dr. is relocating, there is no sense in seeing that dr for another month - whoever is going to be your dr. in the near future must see you NOW. Ideally you should be inpatient until the mania subsides, but if that is not feasible due to the children, you should be seeing a psychiatrist regularly. When is your next appointment? which dr. will see you at that appointment? Do you have Zyprexa on hand? What has most helped you in the past?