Hopeless, I am afraid to say that the counseling, rebuilding trust etc. were not effective since you still felt uncomfortable in your own skin and still felt that he had never forgiven you, and those feelings were so intense that they precluded you from giving him sexual attention. I think that you need to say to yourself: "OK, I felt SOOO guilty that no amount of counseling could help me and that made me SOOO uncomfortable in my own skin because I felt as if he had not forgiven me that I lost my sexual self, but now that finally my retribution has arrived, I am free and able to shake the feelings of guilt, get rid of the feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin, become my old sexual self, and stop feeling as if I needed forgiveness. That is - I am free at last."

And from that place, decide what to do.

Guilt is a pervasive feeling - it does not go away easily - and it is also a destructive feeling more often than not. Apparently it was so ingrained in you that you could not feel free to be yourself without retribution. So you have gotten your retribution - say bye-bye to guilt at last. Just spend some time enjoying being guilt-free and postpone making any decisions until you have savored being your old self again.