Well, I haven't been on the treadmill so far this week. It's almost like I'm resisting doing what I want to do. I don't get it. It feels like there's a second person inside me trying to sabotage me.

I think I’m trying to psych myself into a good mood and not just weight loss (been mildly depressed for months). Also, I am more sensitive to feelings of self-pity this time of year due to the seasonal ads for charitable giving to those less fortunate. Those commercials really tug at my heart strings.

One thing I noticed after my last post was my black and white thinking – all or nothing. I think I have found a new therapist who can help with eating disorders among other things so maybe I can work on my emotional responses – I know I need to.