I was happy for a while, genuinely happy. For seven months nothing could get me down. But this year is so different..It's my first year of high school and I'm finding myself constantly stressed, anxious, mad, and upset. Everyday I go to school, I feel like I'm trapped in a prison. I've faked happiness for almost two months. I covered up my insecurities and sadness with a huge ego. People think I'm pretty narcissistic actually. But it's fake. I'm stressed over grades; I'm already starting on scholarships. This one teacher has been making comments that come across as rude - so I talked to him. Apparently I "cause unnecessary drama, take things too personally, and MIGHT have issues with men". We discussed the last comment made and he dismissed it, but didn't apologize. He's wearing me down, but refuses to really listen to what I'm saying. After this happened, my friends made me hang out with them. I made an excuse to leave because I couldn't handle it. One of them texted saying that I'm a rude person. I explained to the two why I left. The girl who texted, didn't even really care. I texted this one person who I tell a lot of things too (he's the one who helped me get stable about 7 months ago) asking him to call me sometime because it's important. He never replied. I really feel like a terrible person. I wake up and feel useless, worthless, and pathetic. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy anymore. It feels like I'm slipping back to where I was, and that scares me because it took so long to recover from that. I'm scared that I'm going to end up hurting myself.