Trippin 2.0 does make a very good point about your ex; stop making assumptions!

From what i have read from your posts, she has deep feelings for you. You didn't cheat on her, you were put into an impossible situation over which you had no control, until now.

Chances are, she either suspects or has figured out many of the things you mention in your posts. Would you be willing to let her read these posts?

If you truly care for her, you will allow HER to decide if she wants to keep seeing you. From what i have read, she wants you in her life. Are you sure that the "sadness in her eyes" isn't just your own reflection?

I understand first hand how trauma can skew your perceptions. With your ex, you are assuming rejection. is that accurate? Why would anyone choose to hang out with someone they dislike?

Is it really too late for the x-mas party? How about New Years? How about hanging out with her for no reason at all?