This was another horrible day. Sorry for the complaining. I have no one else I can talk to. No one who understands. The doctors were in a bad mood and snapping at me and the head nurse. The Junior manager got angry at me for no reason and accused me of talking about her behind her back. I was not even talking about her. Now I am but I will not reveal her name. I know she has lots of anxiety over her upcoming surgery tomorrow and I feel for her, but why did she have to lash out at me. Then she tells me that other people in the office are talking bad about me.

I'm tired. I feel abused. I have had enough.

I'm not the smartest person in the world. But I'm not the worst person either. Yes I make mistakes but I try to fix them. I try my best but my best is never good enough. Then, when people get me upset, I can't think straight and make more mistakes. I know you should not drink to deal with depression, but that is the only thing calming my nerves right now.

I have had enough. I have to make it thru the holidays. My son is coming home for Christmas. I have to hold on for the family. After the holidays I'm not sure what I will do but something has to give. Sorry for the long rant.