I'm having a bit of a hard day and find it very difficult to talk to my family/friends about the situation.

I was with my partner for just over 10 years. We went through a lot together, including his depression, me cheating, long-distance, and breaking up for about 6 weeks in the 4th or 5th year. He forgave me for cheating and was always sure I was the one he would spend the rest of his life with.

I broke up with him about 3 months ago. I know this took him by surprise and he was deeply hurt. At his worst, I didn't know how I would handle things and did not have a support system to help me through. I sometime doubted our relationship because of this and it got to the point that I was exhausted and anxious, which led to the breakup.

He has gotten help for his depression and I continue to see the positive changes he is trying to make for himself. I am proud of him for this, considering how difficult part of his life has been. I've felt, for awhile now, that I'm in limbo.

I've moved for work and thought that I would feel better once I got settled in, but that hasn't happened yet. Although I love my job, I feel like I'm just getting through each day.

I know I lost myself in the relationship, trying to make him happy. I had no idea that he had depression (although I can see that now and better understand it). I let a lot of anger and resentment build up over the time we were together and I find I go from being angry at him, then myself, and then I'm sad.

He was always kind to my family, although not as outgoing as I would've liked. He never grew up close to his family, but always said he looked forward to the family we would have. He wanted to give his children the things he never had.

I never really set any boundaries either. I know I probably wouldn't be this upset/anxious if I had spoken my mind more often and focused more on a balance in our relationship. Some days I can see things working out in the future and us being happy, but others I feel like i'll always have this nervousness and not be able to let go of the past.

I've felt very disconnected from others in my life. I never wanted them to know how much I struggled. Everyone else seemed to have everything together I guess and, as good as our good times were, we did have some difficulty along the way.

I've spoken to him a number of times since our breakup and we've both apologized for things we've done. I do miss talking to him, as he was my best friend and such a big part of my life for so long.

I guess I'm not looking for any answers, just some support and maybe hear from anyone who has gone through something similar?