Quote:
Originally Posted by filthylessons
I wish I could tell you something that would truly help you, but the best I can offer is to say that I know exactly where you're coming from. Everything you typed reminds me of my own mindset when experiencing what I know now as a hypomanic episode. It's incredibly distressing and disturbing. I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
Are you diagnosed, officially? Have you been to any therapy or anything like that where they help you identify your warning signs and triggers? I see in your signature that you're on Topamax. Is that for mood stabilisation? I am also not sure if you're on an SSRI or not-- if you are, and not on a good dose of mood stabiliser, that could be very dangerous for a bipolar I or II person. Instead of helping, it makes the episodes much, much worse.
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Thank you for your response, filthylessons.
I am not diagnosed officially. My doctors say I have "bipolar elements." I don't even know what that means.
I'm on an SNRI for depression. SSRIs never quite worked for me. I was put on Topamax after a severe relapse of depression this past summer -- which had actually followed a phase not unlike this. :/ Well, first I was put on Wellbutrin, and I had an allergic reaction to it, which sucked because after a week I was 50 times better, and after a week and a half I felt emotionally impervious to everything. I wonder if that's what normal feels like? So after that, I was put on Topamax. Topamax is used off-label for mood stabilization. And that's what ****s with my head even more. As you can see from my cocktail, it's like I have more than just "elements."
And yet I'm able to take meds many people with bipolar disorder can't take. But I feel like I've always gone through cycles. And I always thought it was normal. So I'm just confused as hell. I feel like a fish flip-flopping in the middle of a slippery dock, going absolutely nowhere but back and forth.