Quote:
Originally Posted by Velouria
Thank you for your response, filthylessons.
I am not diagnosed officially. My doctors say I have "bipolar elements." I don't even know what that means.
...I was put on Topamax after a severe relapse of depression this past summer -- which had actually followed a phase not unlike this... I was put on Wellbutrin, and I had an allergic reaction to it, which sucked because after a week I was 50 times better, and after a week and a half I felt emotionally impervious to everything. I wonder if that's what normal feels like? Topamax is used off-label for mood stabilization. And that's what ****s with my head even more. As you can see from my cocktail, it's like I have more than just "elements."
But I feel like I've always gone through cycles. And I always thought it was normal. So I'm just confused as hell. I feel like a fish flip-flopping in the middle of a slippery dock, going absolutely nowhere but back and forth.
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My first piece of advice to you would be to find a new psychiatrist. That's what I did, and they diagnosed me differently than my old doctors. Secondly, I cannot stress the importance of being COMPLETELY HONEST with your psychiatrist. 100%. If you think of something, write it down so you don't forget. If they ask you if you are aggressive or have violent tendencies or anything like that, no matter how ashamed you are you have to tell them. I was in denial for a long time about many of my symptoms, but once I started being totally honest I started getting the treatment I needed.
The cycling is another big red flag for bipolar disorder. Also, being emotionally impervious is not normal. I've been that way before from medication. It made me into a zombie. Funnily enough, it was actually Wellbutrin that made me feel like that. I had energy, I felt pretty good, but all of my creativity and emotional reaction went straight out the window. It's really hard to live with the kind of things that you're going through right now, I know.
