i was just thinking about my life and how im a failure. im so scared about my future. i...dont know...therapy isnt helping but i cant afford to stop it. or get another therapist. my therapy is like getting a depot shot once a month and it only lasting a week. then im still having trouble over and over and struggling until i can get to my next appt.

im afraid im gonna crash. everday im struggling with my panic attacks and paranoia and the hallucinations have been getting worse since they started back up in december. im having hallucinations now but i havent been talking about it really here.

the only support i have is my dad right now. my sister moved back for awhile in september but is leaving back across the country for good next week cuz shes getting married. my mom doesnt care bout me.