Especially ones done by children. I've realized that the whole idea of me being "triggered" when a teen or young adult come in to the hospital for a sui attempt or even if I hear or read about it - that the root of the issue is jealousy. I'm finally allowing myself to accept enough of my own attempt to try to process it and I realize i'm jealous. I overdosed on a small bottle of tylenol out of impulse when I was twelve. When guidance asked me if I did - i said no. They searched my bag, found the empty bottle and DID NOTHING. They sent me home with my mom (the biggest source of my issues) who also took me at my word about not taking the pills. And I never said anything. I just laid on the couch, sleeping; feeling in and out of consciousness just waiting to die. And after an unknown amount of time i realized I would not die. My mom made me go to school again and I got up and went outside in private and vomited all the pills i suppose. And then the world went back to normal. My mom told me when i got older she couldn't sleep and checked on me continuously through the night thinking she'd find me dead and yet she did nothing to get me help. I see people come in with family caring about them and i'm jealous. Or i see them with "more legit attempts" and i'm jealous. How do i resolve this inner feeling without making a second "better" attempt?