Wow, I would be lying if I said I didn't relate to everything in this post. I am also on my way off my meds, but there are things you can still do. Try going to therapy and learn ways to manage the bipolar unmedicated. A lot of people on the forum are pretty successful being off the medications. I think that we can work hard and be in that category with them. I know it all seems bleak and weary but you can do it. Don't give up.