It seems to me that it'd be best for you to take a break and to temporarily discontinue your search for a therapist. If you don't take a step back and don't take time to reflect on what has happen so far, I am afraid, you'll keep getting the same thing over and over again which will add trauma on top of trauma. I understand the compulsion to resolve it with someone, but, at this point, you may not be in a good place to look for someone who can help you with that. Sometimes we need to do some work on our own. Therapy is not the only solution. There are other methods to heal our wounds. Taking therapy "vacation" and doing something comforting for yourself may be the best right now..Sorry again