Mostly for good reason, I just can no longer hold in my irritation-
I used to be praised on my patience- one of my managers at work told me the other day I need to be more patient. The irony is not lost on me.
I want a new job, but I don't really have any good prospects. I had one, and then lost it- I missed a call back because an error/delay with my voice mail-
so I'm a little deterred-
My current job is ok, I'm just tired of the bs politics and people talking down to me and me being under appreciated and underestimated-
I've been drinking recently a little bit each day in the evening- it helps me feel better the next day- didn't help today though- it was my birthday.

Only my family and my bf know, and like one other friend- I didn't tell any of my worker friends. Feeling like a dork/loser. Feel like whats the point- I'd rather not have people know- but an definitely had to not have to work.
I donated blood today- that was good- I'd rather so a good deed that helps others than get lavished with gifts and fake well wishes from aquaintances that don't give a damn. Birthdays are just another day. I guess that sounds depressing, but then again I've never really liked celebrating my birthday much anyway. I think I had like only birthday party with friends when I was little and then nothing after that. Sure, I went to other friends parties, but I never got my own after that growing up. I think the whole thing is silly. So I guess that's made me feel like It's not a big deal. Maybe that's resentment/bitterness? I don't know. But I don't really like my birthday, this year especially. Last year was fun-went out with my bf. We ended up going out after all this year but it seemed weird- I think it was the place- it had a weird vibe, when people didn't really make me feel welcome. I don't know, maybe it's all in my head . . .