First of all, I am sooo sorry for your loss. Each person who suffers a loss grieves in his or her own way and time. There is no time limit on grief and no rules about who you can grieve for. This woman was someone significant in your life and you loved her so there should be no guilt in your heart over the grief. Talk to your T and cry if you need to, take your time and grieve until you don't need to anymore.