It was very brave of you to do that Jane and I can totally understand the fears you have about how they may respond too.
You know what Jane, all along I have wanted to talk about not only that I developed PTSD as a result of the damage my neighbor's negligence caused to me, that it has affected my ability to run my business and even function in caring for my horses and ponies on my farm. But, that my neighbor continuing to be intrusive also made the PTSD worse. In my situation, I have been advised to not discuss that and that the opposing side can use that "against me" and probably will.
Jane, my case has been ongoing for going on 8 years now. The truth is that because of that I have not been able to put this experience that I witnessed and had to address all the damage behind me, it has kept this trauma "in the now" for me. I have a Mediation coming up in a couple of weeks and I don't even know if my neighbor will be present, I don't know how well I am going to do either, I am afraid I won't do well and be triggered, may have a flashback, may cry too much, may express too much anger and if my creepy neighbor "is" sitting across from me at a table, it could get real bad even if I want with all my heart to be strong and clear headed.
With all my heart, all that I am, I want to tell my entire story, including the fact that I not only developed PTSD, but that now because of how the years of not having any closure and keeping it in the "now", I have chronic debilitating PTSD.
I want my therapist to be there so badly, to attest to the fact that he has been trying to help me for four years now and it is obvious to him that not only do I suffer from PTSD, but that because of how long I have had to go without any resolve that he can see that I am "chronic" too. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish "EVERY night". But, I cannot afford to pay him to be "there for me".
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