I've always been treated differently in my family, getting yelled at more, less respect than anyone else. And what's worse, is they should know all the awful things I've been through to lead me to the place I am now, but still no one cares.
A simple thing like sleep is impossible for me. I live in the basement of my family's home, there's constant noise coming from the floor above, I'll ask the family to keep it down, but no, because it's after 12pm I should be awake and willing to take the BS they dish out. Everyday I feel like my mental state is getting worse, I'm sooo angry, more so than I ever have been on a regular basis. I have no idea how to preserve what little mental stability I have left.
I don't have a job, therefore I don't need sleep and I also don't deserve the respect that all the other family members my age receives. There is no talking to these people, believe me I've tried. Now I yell at everyone because no one hears what I've been saying for years and they all look down on me, like I'm the criminal.
I feel soo stressed, depressed and suicidal, I haven't felt I can work in years. I want to move out soo bad, but I can't with no money. I've been waiting to hear from ODSP (disability) for months now, just so I can get rejected and have to apply all over again. I have no friends that I can stay over, I have no money to even go chill at a coffee shop and cool down for an hour.
..Help me..